I Am Not In Control, He is

When I became a Christian, I attended a Church where the Word was taught and prayer was emphasized; nobody talked much about dying to the flesh and getting conformed to His image except in the annual conferences. Rather, the emphasis was on praying and fasting, binding and loosing, and becoming a spiritual warrior.

There's nothing wrong with those themes but if that is all you do, you eventually wind up a one-sided Christian like I did. You feel invincible to the devil and are blind to your shortcomings which leads to pride, a heavy dose of it. So there I was seven years ago, new in Toronto from Nigeria, and feeling like a 'spiritual star' well above everyone I met...until I went on a spiritual retreat and realized I had no control over my life and I was full of gunk that needed to come out. The love emanating from the retreat ministry staff was my undoing and it totally changed my life.

I remember this retreat everytime I'm overwhelmed with prayer needs from friends and family; these past two weeks was one of those times when I realized that no matter how much I prayed, fasted, stood on scriptures, and cried out to Him...that was really all I could do. I was not in control He was, and I had to remember that.

It is not a feeling most of us are comfortable with, because we always want to be in control of everything happening around us; but He unfolds His plan on a daily basis as we come to Him daily.

Isn't He amazing? I love you Precious Lord!

Tear Through the Veil

Boundless feelings
Eternal depths
Searching for the meaning
Seeking and standing
Yet stumbling through
To see stabs of light
Through the dimness
Coloring outside the lines
in a desperate attempt
to see the big picture
Pushing aside the hills of thought
and mountains of need
Just to focus on You
Just to see Your face
Just to hold Your hand
as I tear through the veil
and fall before You
I love You deeply

JP Copyright 2007

Do All in Love

I remember my first job in Toronto, it was a volunteer job to gain Canadian experience and I was working in a Catholic Aid agency that distributed materials to underprivileged women in Asia. The supervisor, Sister Abby, was very nice and took me as her younger sister when she discovered I had no relatives in the city. She had genuine love for the women in the countries we sent materials to, and would often call the sister agencies over there to inquire personally about a particular woman's welfare.

She did all in love no matter the situation and I never once saw her lose her temper, even in situations I confess I would have lost mine. I really admired her long-suffering patience, but most of all the deep love you could see reflected in her countenance as she addressed different problems brought to her by the other Sisters in the agency.

Funny I had always believed this verse in I Corinthians 16:14, 'Let all you do be done in love', was hard to apply especially in situations where you were the wronged party but as I watched Sister Abby, I realized that she disciplined her staff with such deep love and a ready smile, it made me almost ashamed of my past reactions to similar situations as I watched her....she never once scolded her staff in public. Rather, she would take that person into her office, close the door, and her voice would even go lower in volume as she spoke to them.

I was brought up in a disciplined home and therefore believed that discipline was first and foremost the principal thing; but the Word says that wisdom is the principal thing. So now I've learned in situations with the children that may require my discipline, to ask Jesus to fill my heart with His love before I take any action; it helps tremendously as I then see the root need behind the action and address that first, before addressing the situation-which then is less important after the first step has been done.....it's a process worth trying.